perspective. on grace.

Image via Wikipedia

Sometimes Grace comes in the dress of perspective.
She smiles but her eyes reveal sadness.
She cries but the tears taste like joy.

What does grace, freelancing as perspective look like?
sorta like the yin and yang...
even when things are bright and cheerful
there is that black spot of doubt...
even when things seem black and hopeless...
there is that spot of light.



Yeah. Sorta like that.
But Grace gives something so much more.
A purpose to what would otherwise be just so much senseless spinning of the wheel. Grace makes certain that we notice the pushes and pulls until the clay takes shape and the Potter's purpose gradually becomes clear.

Today the Potter's purpose for me seems hidden...
but... clay that I am...
I have sensed Grace giving me enough perspective
to know that the spinning, pushing, pulling is getting me... somewhere.

Perspectives:

Hurricane Felicia ~ she's fizzled down to a tropical storm and drifted off to the north.
So the biggest storm we ever prepared for (well, sort of prepared) seems to change her mind and goes off to hit Maui instead of the Big Island.
... I feel relieved that we'll probably get a good night's sleep and won't have patio chairs blowing through the windows.
... yet I feel that little dark patch of disappointment along with my sons that we're not going to "experience the fury".

Keeping Covenant ~ I just read through Hosea in the Message... so powerful.
The love of God enacted as a living parable through his prophet.
From Peterson's introduction: "It is an astonishing story: a prophet commanded to marry a common whore and have children with her. It is an even more astonishing message: God loves us in just this way - goes after us at our worst, keeps after us until he gets us, and makes lovers of men and women who know nothing of real love."

A month ago I got on an airplane. I chose to mark that moment as the first day of my sobriety.
I'm now four weeks into recovery from being a workaholic. I have no idea what that is supposed to look like on a daily basis. Perspective however, gives me some clues. A month of time devoted to my wife, my kids and a houseful of visitors... family and friends who know us and love us (even when we all drive each other a little crazy). I am re-learning the essence of healthy relationships ~ how much time it takes to truly know someone... and how that is just a slice of what it means to truly love someone. Perspective has helped me realize that in the midst of hundreds of good things I would say "yes" to, some of the best things were being lost. My good work is hard. Hard work is good. Goodness is learning to make the hard choice to say "no" when my work takes over my life, or threatens to undo my covenant to my family.

Perspective on moving to Korea:
We made the choice to do something different for a year. We knew it wouldn't be easy. Up until now it has been very easy. My dear friend and co-pastor, Andrew Narm made all the right connections. The invitations to come and teach came from two universities in the same city where Debbie and I could both stretch and grow. A week after arriving in Hawaii we got our first big surprise. An email from my school with a list of documents that we needed in order to secure my E2 Visa. We worked to get what we could online, getting transcripts sent from college and seminary, etc. But now a roadblock. They need my diploma which is packed away in a box somewhere, and fingerprinting that has to be done in my home state.

So... on Wednesday night I fly back to California.
The bright spot - I get to see my beloved hometown of Alameda one more time. The dark side seems huge: my family stays here to pack & clean & ship boxes without me... I have no clue how long the paperwork will take or, for that matter, where to look for my diploma. I will miss the visit of my dear friends Nina & Diggs who fly in the day I leave... many of my good friends in Alameda will be out of town for the week... so the questions pile up.

Why this turn of events? Why didn't we get that list a month before we left home? What is God's purpose in this seemingly senseless and certainly expensive diversion?

No answers yet to these perplexing questions, yet Grace is gently reminding me that the spinning of the wheel has some purpose. Someday, the perspective will be even clearer. I believe this, yet as we zig zag our way across the ocean I certainly covet your prayers. Pray that we will find all we need... pray that Deb's teaching position will get settled (it is currently much more uncertain than mine... another long story). Pray for Perspective... and Peace.