Why did THAT song make me cry?

Saturday, April 2, 2011, 1:15pm

So I sit down in my office to work on my sermon.

To make the suffocation of this stained glass cubicle more bearable, 

I click on my U2 channel on Pandora.  

Perhaps cranking up "The Fly" by U2 set the emotional stage...

It's no secret that a friend is someone who lets you help

It's no secret that a liar won't believe anyone else

They say a secret is something you tell one other person

So I'm telling you child

A man will beg 

A man will crawl 

On the sheer face of love

Like a fly on a wall

It's no secret at all

Hardly know where to begin with that.

But the guitar solo combined with that phrase "the sheer face of love" ...

probably uncorked something... something powerfully distilled in my soul.  

probably uncovered something... like finding yet another hatch

    in the 3rd season of my own personal island of LOST.

Next up:  Counting Crows "Long December" ...

Is it his voice, that crooning wail?

Is it the sad beauty of those chords in just that order?

or... more likely...

combined with the above,

it is all that plus these words:

And it’s been a long December and there’s no reason to believe 

Maybe this year will be better that the last 

I can’t remember all the times I tried to tell myself 

To hold on to these moments as they pass 

And it’s one more day up in the canyon 

And it’s one more night in Hollywood 

It’s been so long since I’ve seen the ocean... I guess I should 

Suddenly my face is in my hands.

A sudden rush of beauty &  pain, joy & sorrow.

Tears wash down my face.  

Saltwater baptism.

Not enough liquid for even a sprinkling, 

but enough emotion for a full immersion.

I wonder if at 12 or 21 or 30 Jesus ever thought...

"maybe this year will be better than the last".

I wonder whether his tears for his friends, 

for the city, for me... ever confused him.

I wonder whether I can ever really fully surrender 

to him the meaning of my tears for my friends, my city, myself.  

(or if i even dare to try)

2:00pm. 

No time left for wonder.

There's a sermon to prepare, 

there's doctrine to doublecheck,

there's baptism debates to resolve...

Thanks Lord, for the last 45 minutes...

I almost felt human again.

It's been so long since I've seen the ocean,

guess I should.